How to Create a Relationship Ritual That Strengthens Your Bond
Small everyday rituals can help us in a myriad of ways. Including in our relationships.
Rituals have been a part of being human since we decided to walk, upright, out of the jungle. They come in all different types from Japanese tea ceremonies to coming-of-age trials such as the Maasai lion hunt. Despite us, in the west, having forgotten many of our rituals you still see vestiges of them during big life events such as weddings and funerals. They are powerful symbols of changes and help the people involved transition to new states of being. The power of these rituals, however, does not need to be relegated to major life events. Small everyday rituals can help us in a myriad of ways. Including in our relationships.
It shouldn’t be a surprise to you that here at Same Page we are all about the rituals and routines that can bring a couple together. Before we dive into some ideas there are few ingredients a good ritual requires:
Intention: most rituals have an intention of some kind .A meaning. They symbolise something. For the so inclined couple they might choose to have their ritual represent the renewal of their love, or closeness and connection. The choice is yours.
Regularity or specific timing: rituals usually occur around some significant event or regular time. Think of the count down to new years eve, or Christmas. These are all rituals based on welcoming the festive spirit or new energy at specific times of the year. So, when utilising the power of ritual in your relationship try your best to have it regularly or tied to some event in the calendar.
Sincere performance: to have any power rituals need to be performed in earnest. Their participants cannot be making fun of, or be disconnected from, their meaning. As such, ensure that you and your partner are both fully on board when launching on this journey together.
With these in mind lets explore some ideas for a relationship ritual.
The first one that might spring to mind is date night. Many couples have a time in the week which they carve out to be together. They jettison any other responsibility and focus only on each other. This is a powerful ritual. It reminds the couple of their connection and gives romance room to breathe. It meets all the criteria for a great ritual and there’s a reason it’s a cultural icon. This one is a no brainer for anyone interested in ensuring their relationship stays happy and healthy.
Another great ritual to engage in with your partner is to workout together. You set an intention to sweat with one another and show each other that you are both investing in health. This one even has research to back it up, with a small study showing that people experienced better mood and relationship satisfaction when they exercised with their partners (Sackett-Foc, Gere, Updegraff, 2021). Set up a time and some fun, active, sport or exercise to keep you and your partner on the path to good health and a solid relationship.
Lastly, you might think of developing the ritual of a relationship meeting with your partner. Obviously, we at Same Page are biased, but we believe it is of the utmost importance to regularly sit down with your partner and communicate with intention. While the date night is centred around romance, the relationship meeting is focused on alignment. You and your partner set an intention of regularly ensuring that you are moving in the same direction. You protect time in your calendar to discuss all the important parts of your relationship, the things that are working and perhaps those that need to evolve. Small course corrections now save the need for massive changes down the line. The relationship meeting symbolises you as a couple moving into the future openly, and honestly, together. For a quick peek at how we suggest you set up a great relationship meeting have a look at this link!
These are only a few ideas. There are so many ways you can use small, every day, or monthly rituals to improve your relationship. Just remember that what’s most important is the intention. Always set out on this journey to bring you and your partner clarity and closeness.
References:
Sackett-Foxx, K. Gere, J. Updegraff, J. (2021), Better Together: The impact of exercising with a romantic partner, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Vol: 38, Iss: 11. Retrieved from: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/02654075211012086
